A few years ago, while riding on a rental car bus at the Dallas airport, I had a five-minute conversation with a woman. The bus was crowded, so as she climbed on the bus I got up to offer her my seat and help her stow her suitcase in the rack. As she took my seat and I stood in the aisle, I casually asked her where she was from and why she was visiting Dallas. She told me she had come from California to visit her 82-year-old father for the first time since she was 9-years-old (she appeared to be in her 50s). We talked about the importance of knowing a father’s love and of seeing something of God’s love in the love of a father. As I listened to her story of nervous reconciliation, I commended her for taking the step to see her father. In response to her question, I told her that I had four children and numerous grandchildren, some of whom lived far away. I shared with her the double blessing of being a father loved by my children and knowing that my whole family felt loved by our heavenly Father. As we got off the bus, I spoke God’s blessing over her week with her father.

I was standing in line at my particular rental car agency when the woman came from across the room to seek me out. She asked me the name of my church and inquired as to whether there was one near her in California. After pointing her to a Vineyard in Palm Springs, we went our separate ways.

I didn’t tell her the good news about Jesus. I don’t even know the “rest of the story.” I really don’t know if she was already a Christian or will become one. All of this is totally up to God.

But, I did ask myself, “Why was she so interested in knowing the name of my church?” After all, our conversation on the bus had been incredibly brief. Perhaps this was a particularly vulnerable moment for her – going to see and speak to her dad after 50 years of silence. Or, was it just that someone in our “me-centered” culture took a moment to listen to her story? Maybe it was her nervous excitement and anticipation over what might happen in the next few days that made her want to talk. Quite likely, it seemed to be a God-ordered encounter. I couldn’t answer my question, but I suspected it was a combination of all of the above.

Have you noticed that in our current culture it seems harder to invite people to church? Have you felt awkward, as if something else, some sort of God-conversation, needs to precede an invitation that will be accepted?

Over the past 45-50 years, I’ve heard dozens of talks on witnessing – how to tell my story, to share my experiences or to share the gospel succinctly in a bridge diagram or court room illustration. I’ve learned how to persuade people with questions, ready to answer “gospel defeaters” like, “If God loves everybody, why does he send people to hell?” or “If God is all-powerful, why is there suffering in the world?” Yet, in my experience, the most effective witnessing conversations have been those that move from technique or me talking about me, to conversations that get personal and evolve into God-conversations.

Virtually anyone who has experienced God’s love and saving grace wants others to discover what they’ve found. How do we intentionally have God conversations with those who don’t yet know him?

I believe it starts with an awareness of God’s desire. The reality is that God loves the other person more than I do and is more interested in them discovering him than I am. He has sent his Spirit to speak into the lives of those who don’t yet know him in ways that they might not readily recognize, tilling the soil to receive the gospel – something the historical church has called the Spirit of Prevenient Grace.

Believing that the Spirit is already at work in every person I encounter, I try to live life with an intentional social curiosity. That is, I’m constantly engaging people I encounter during the day – the mailman, a waitress, my doctor or someone waiting for their car to be repaired. Rather than telling them about myself, I genuinely inquire about their life – who are they, what do they do for a living, do they have family, what do they enjoy, or what inspires them? I’ve found that people love talking about themselves and are just waiting for someone to ask.

Like praying for the sick, I listen with one ear to the person and one ear to the Spirit, asking God for prophetic insight as to what he’s already doing in their life or where they are in their faith-journey.  What are the Spirit-initiated “triggers” in their life right now? Perhaps they’re in a period of distress, having just lost a job or a loved one. Maybe they’re afraid, having recently been diagnosed with cancer. Or, in uncertain economic times, they might not be sure if they have enough saved up for retirement.  Perhaps they’re experiencing guilt or a deep conviction of sin for a life-controlling habit – they know they’re broken but don’t know how to fix themselves. Or, deep sadness in the midst of a broken relationship or a child gone astray.  

Maybe it’s something positive. They’re filled with gratitude for a mercy or justice received, or have recently benefited from a “near-miss” or remarkable deliverance. Or, they recently had a baby and are filled with an awe at the miracle of birth. Perhaps they’re lovers of nature but don’t see the hand of a creator in the creation around them. Or, a scientist intrigued by an understanding of the “what” yet deeply puzzled by the “why.”

Rather than coming “at” the person in front of me, I picture coming “alongside” them as we walk together towards Jesus, perhaps assisting them to take just one step in seeing God’s activity in their lives.  Remember the coloring pages called “connect-the-dots” that we did as children? You know, the ones where you connected numerically sequenced dots to reveal a picture to color? I like to think that God has designed a connect-the-dots picture of Jesus in every human being on earth. My job is to help them connect a few of the dots, pointing to ways in which God is already active in their life, ultimately revealing a full picture of Jesus. Having read that the average person needs a dozen God-conversations or encounters before embracing Jesus, I’m content to connect the dots that are available to me in the moment, leaving the rest for later and for God – no pressure. If no dots are revealed and no God-conversation results, I trust in God’s timing and am satisfied with having had the opportunity to open a new relationship, or possibly deepen an existing friendship. God is in control, and I am enriched by the human encounter.

What comes before inviting someone to church? Conversations that get personal and assist a person to awaken to the activity of the Spirit already at work in their lives. This is something we can do.

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