I was talking to a young couple recently about the rising age of church planters in the Vineyard movement. Thirty years ago, the average Vineyard church planter was in their late 20s. Now, they are in their 40s. I made one of those off-handed Baby Boomer remarks to them: “It seems to me that lots of Millennials are afraid to push out of the nest! They just won’t strike out on their own and risk like we did when we were in our 20s!”
The response I received was awakening to say the least: “Yes, I can see that you might imagine that to be a deficit, but what if Millennials value community and working together on a team a lot more than your generation did?”
I said: “Great point!”
Have you ever struggled with generational differences in the church? You wouldn’t be human if you haven’t. You prefer a certain kind of music – it may be 10 or 20 or even 200 years old – because that musical genre has always connected you to God. You likely prefer a certain style of leadership, a certain approach to evangelism, a certain kind of teaching, even a certain length of teaching. This is based, in part, on the generation in which you were born.
God has always intended the church to be multi-generational. When the church was born on the Day of Pentecost, Peter explained to his hearers what was happening by saying: “‘In the last days,’ God says, ‘I will pour out my Spirit on all people. Your sons and daughters will prophesy, your young men will see visions, your old men will dream dreams.’” (Acts 2:17) And if every local church is to be an outpost and expression of God’s coming kingdom, then every local church ought to be multi-generational since this is the Old Testament picture of the coming kingdom: “I will rejoice over Jerusalem and take delight in my people; the sound of weeping and of crying will be heard in it no more. Never again will there be in it an infant who lives but a few days, or an old man who does not live out his years; the one who dies at a hundred will be thought a mere child; the one who fails to reach a hundred will be considered accursed.” (Isaiah 65:19-20)
The reason that building a multi-generational church is so difficult these days is because never in history has it been common for a church to span six generations. As life spans have increased from an average age of 40 at the beginning of the 20th century to an average age of 80 today, we now have six generations in many churches. Traditionalists, born before 1925; the Silent Generation, born between 1926 and 1945; Baby Boomers, born between 1946 and 1964; Gen X, born between 1965-1980; Millennials, born between 1981 and 2001; and the yet unnamed next generation of young people 15 years old and under.
Why is building a multi-generational church so difficult? Think about the radically different life experiences of each generation. Many Traditionalists grew up during the Depression. As a result, spending money on what is not absolutely necessary seems wasteful and frivolous. Many Traditionalists went through the Second World War. They learned how to sacrifice and be patient. They experienced good government and good authority in the military, and they tend to trust authority and not ask questions. That’s why Baby Boomers are often frustrated with their Traditionalist parents’ approach to medical care: “What do you mean you didn’t ask your doctor about why you’re on that medication? Didn’t you tell her that it’s making you dizzy?” But Traditionalists grew up trusting experts. They also learned at a young age to give and have had no problem tithing to a local church.
Baby Boomers (my generation) grew up in a time of rising prosperity in America. We were born with high expectations for our lives. We were the most optimistic generation in American history. We grew up believing, in the words of the old Crosby, Stills and Nash song: “We can change the world, rearrange the world!” So Boomers tend to be highly entrepreneurial. We have no problem starting ministries and believing God for really big things. On the other hand, Baby Boomers tend to be highly individualistic and less sacrificial than the Traditionalist generation.
Gen Xers were born during a period of American decline, politically and economically. Gen Xers were the first latchkey kids. They experienced multiple recessions, missing children’s pictures on milk cartons, the new no-fault divorces of their parents and high unemployment coupled with high inflation. As a result, Gen Xers grew up far less optimistic than Boomers. They are realists, sometimes appearing cynical to the two previous generations. They value community, especially because their families were often broken. They feel incredibly comfortable with technology. And they love comedy as irony – thus Gen Xers love Jon Stewart, Stephen Colbert and The Simpsons.
Millennials are the most photographed generation in history. Digital photography made taking pictures really inexpensive so many Millennials have thousands of pictures of their childhoods. They are the most focused upon generation in history. More research has been done on Millennials than any other generation by far. Millennials are much closer to their parents than were Boomers. Baby Boomers kicked away from older generations (“Don’t trust anyone over 30!”). Millennials actually want to be with and be mentored by the older generation. Millennials want their parents and other older adults to be involved in their lives. The Millennial generation is the most diverse in American history. Most Millennials feel very comfortable negotiating diversity. Millennials are incredibly self-confident. They were given awards just for participating. They believe their opinions ought to be heard. They want to be involved. They want to have impact. They want their lives to have meaning.
How can all of these generations get along in one church? How can all of these very real generational differences not prevent us from being, in the Apostle Paul’s words, “like-minded, having the same love, being one in spirit and purpose”? Three things come to mind in building a multi-generational church.
Let Jesus be the Head of the Church. Rather than ask the questions: What do I want from the church? What do I like in worship music? Do I enjoy this or that change in the church? The questions ought to be: “What does Jesus want from our church? What would faithful following of Jesus look like right now for our church? What changes does Jesus want to make in our church and in me so that God’s will is more perfectly done on earth as it is in heaven?”
Celebrate instead of criticize generational differences as part of God’s plan to bring Christ’s body to maturity. The simple point is: We need each other! We need the Traditionalist model of self-sacrifice and generosity. We need the Boomers’ optimism and bold faith. We need Gen Xers’ love of community. And we need Millennials’ passion for meaning and comfort with diversity. Not only does the cause of Christ advance when we celebrate our generational differences rather than criticize, but we personally grow.
Be completely humble. There is a major difference between a generational preference and a biblical requirement! Many of us tend to exalt our preferences without biblical commandments: “True worship ought to be like this!” Or “If you really care about [God’s Word, morality, raising kids or whatever], you would do things my way!”?Humility says: “I am willing to re-examine my preferences and acknowledge that there are many different ways to live out God’s design for our lives and for the church.” Humility says: “I am willing to learn and stretch and grow.”
Along with multi-cultural diversity, multi-generational diversity is part of God’s calling for the church. Let’s together lean in and embrace God’s incredibly wise plan for his people!